Im on a BIKE. Riding to Crystal Lake for a soda



Before I sought out the long hours and new technical trails to run I spent a lot of my free time cycling. It first began when I was a wee little cherub riding my own teeny tiny bike. In Junior high I would accompany my family and my dads friends in a bi-annual 50 mile bike race from Rosarito to Ensenada. At that time my dad and I would train and eventually ride the race on a tandem bicycle. Well, he would ride and I would pass out candy to all the kids that lined the streets of Rosarito. It wasn't till age 18 that I officially had my own bike. At the time my Dad had just completed his first century ride with Team In Training and I was the one who would tag along on his own training rides. I was in my first year of college and had a flexible schedule giving me free mornings a majority of the week.

We had a few favorite routes; Turbon Canyon, Fullerton Rd, The riverbed to the Santa Fe Dam. The Riverbed was mighty popular. I will forever have one particular ride engraved into my memory bank.
Thankfully I've had this computer since 2006 and all photos taken since are organized in a terrible fashion but still readily accessible. After 30 minutes of reminiscing of the year 2006 and all my adventures(parties) I was able to located a few photographs of the ride.



It was a windy August day and we had started around 6am. I remember this quite well seeing that I had stayed up late rendezvousing at a girlfriends party the night before and was in sheer pain but flake- I am not! Today was the day that we would go farther than the dam and climb up to some lake. At the time I never really paid attention to where we were going or the names of place, wait- that still sounds like me to this day. At some point on the riverbed we ran into a few of my dads friends under an over pass catching some shade. We spent a few minutes catching up with them and headed on our way. On our way out one of my dads friends said "I wish I had a son to ride bikes with too". I laughed out loud but in my head I was saying "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M NOT A BOY". My confidence levels on being flat chested went to an all time low.

We continued on our way, passed the normal stopping point and continued up the highway to our final destination before turning around. We stopped at the side of the highway on a dirt overlook and snapped a few photos before I heard a screech that came from my dads voice as he started scratching my skin behind my hear. My stomach instantly dropped- he has located my first tattoo. He continued his attempt to scratch it off before I gave my confession. He reacted fairly well considering my sister broke the ice several years before and soon made my other tattoos I would get somewhat acceptable.

This ride was my first 50+ mile ride ever attempted. I believe it ended at 75 miles and with me in tears the last 10 miles due to heavy winds and my body completely obliterated. The climb along with the river bed was far too difficult for me. I told myself never again, I don't want to see that highway for a long time.

Fast forward 9 years.
I'm back on the very same bike on a highway that looked far too familiar for my comfort level.
As the ascent begins I instantly regret willingly choosing this ride as my first time back in a saddle since June 2014's Lake Tahoe Century Ride.
I am a bit overwhelmed with emotion and flooded with memories of riding with my dad. A pastime that I haven't been able to fully enjoy again since his MDS diagnosis.
So where am I? Where am I going?
It turns out my friend Vince and partner in 99% of my type 2 adventures lives a few miles from the San Gabriel Off Highway Staging Area and where HWY 39 begins.

CRYSTAL LAKE
Starting from the San Gabriel Off Highway Staging Area it is a 14.1 mile ride. The first several miles of this climb are slightly unimpressive, but once your approximately 7 miles from the start of the climb to the turn off to Crystal Lake at mile 12 are dramatic with views back to the south of the big switchbacks just navigated. The first section of the climb is at about 5.5% grade ascending to approximately 3,700 ft. At about mile 12 you turn right and climb the final 2.3 miles with 6% grade to the parking lot at the top. At that point the Crystal Lake Cafe is about 2 miles up the hill from the turn off at HWY39.

We are at the beginning of the climb and I'm huffing and puffing, only slightly annoyed that Vince is riding no hands talking up a storm while I'm obviously struggling to not fall from going too slow. The feeling of being out of shape and just plain out a wussy crossed my mind only a billion times during this ride. But I continue forward and only occasionally swerving right and left.

At about 10 miles into the ride we were riding through Augusts forest fire area dubbed the Cabin Fire that burned over 1800 acres during our triple digit heat wave. It was natures grave yard. Completely black and devastating to look at.


It wasn't till mile 18 where we hit 3,000 in elevation that I was ready to turn around. My legs were fatigued and my face was being attacked by gnats. My stoke level was at an all time low.
"This is the best part" I assured myself. (Paralleling the time when Kanye, Eminem or some intense music came blaring through my ear buds)
The pain.
The discomfort.
The fatigue.
The struggle.
It's all real, and yes it hurts- but this is why I continue to push myself not just in this ride nor in trail running but in life goals. Nothing worth having comes easy. This may not being something I can grasp, no singular object I can possess but rather an experience.
How does one overcome fear? Self doubt? Pain? Mental Blocks?
It's once that barrier of discomfort your brain has created been knocked down- that's when sweet sweet life begins.
And I remembered that during the ride and continued to push myself onward and upward- LITERALLY.


When I get in this moment, though, I silence myself. I am lost in thought and can get easily frustrated when that silence is broken. This is my own personal battle and apologized to Vince afterward for the lack of conversation or snappy remarks made. This climb was far from easy but I still felt as though I should have been performing better. I am my worst critic but it seemed as though it was a walk in the park for Vince, nonchalantly talking about peaks and cool adventures he's had in the surrounding mountains while I couldn't even imagine getting over this next climb little own carry a conversation.

And so we continued.

We were about 4 miles away from the Cafe and I was starting to worry about running out of water. Well the fact was I had just finished my water and with still a significant climb left before we reach the cafe I knew I was going to get myself in trouble. As those thoughts cross my mind I hear a motorcycle slowly approach me and I knew instantly it was my Dad or Papa as we all call him. This isint some weird coincidence where he decided to ride up to Crystal Lakes at 3pm in a full leather get up in 100 degree weather, no, rather I called him maybe an hour before our start and suggested him come meet us not thinking he'd actually make it.
Thankfully he did.


After chugging down what seemed like pure lemon pulp and took a couple silly photos we all hopped back onto our own bikes and continued our ascent to our final destination Crystal Lake Cafe where my dad was going to buy us some cokes and where we could get a much needed lunch. The idea of an iced cold Coke after riding through the inferno is all I was looking forward to. It was my drug and I was feening for it.


As we pulled into the cafe I was relieved. Extremely happy the climbing was done and we can enjoy ourselves for a little bit before we head back. My dad quickly said they were closed and I had brushed it off thinking with my luck they would be and that you don't joke about something so serious. To my surprise my dad wasn't kidding like he normally is and the Cafe was in fact close on Tuesdays.
OF
ALL
DAYS.



Tuesday?
Why?
It took every molecule of my being to not collapse in a uncontrollable sob. This was a far worse scene for me than watching Everest. My desire for the soda was real and the idea that I spent the last 3+ hours looking forward to something that was out of my control was beyond belief. As we refilled our bottles with less than stellar water cars came and gone as they too noticed the cafe was closed. I had every intention of approaching in car and asking for soda.
Feening.
Give it to me.
Anyone.
Please?
NOW!
Some campers who had just arrived walked over trying to pay there nights dues and we started small conversation with me. More my dad and Vince while I was over in the corner having a pity party. I expressed my hopes for a soda and sadness when we realized that the cafe was closed and they offered us a soda back at the camp ground.
I almost collapsed in sheer happiness.
Once that coke hit my lips the world was right again. The affects are instant and my body was thanking me.


We sat there for about 15 minutes talking about bikes, trails, camping and why we were all there. Needless to say we all have a passion for nature and all it's wonders.
We parted ways and as I passed by their campground I told myself to always remember their kindness and to somehow repay that. Not necessarily to them but perhaps thru hikers, trail runners, really anyone. That little act of kindness made a world of a difference.

The descent was incredible.
While we were climbing I was too focused on my body and it's motions to actually notice the beauty that surrounded me and as we hit 20, 30, 40 mph on the bike you are flying down natures gift. It was breath taking. Well breath taking in views and breath taking because I was holding my breath from being so scarred from the speed. Descending on a bike is not my forte.


It was a wonderful experience and it was well worth the mental and physical battle that almost consumed me during the climb. The idea that I got myself to this moment, not by car but by my own physical strength was well worth it.
We flew down in minutes what felt like centuries to climb and it was far more memorable with my dad on a motorcycle along for the ride.
He may not have the strength to cycle since his battle with Cancer but he enjoys life to the fullest with what he can and I truly appreciate that.

INCREDIBLE
difficult to believe; extraordinary.
"the noise from the crowd was incredible"
synonyms: magnificent, wonderful, marvelous, spectacular, remarkable, phenomenal, prodigious, breathtaking, extraordinary, unbelievable, amazing, stunning, astounding, astonishing, awe-inspiring, staggering, formidable, impressive, supreme, great, awesome, superhuman; informalfantastic, terrific, tremendous, stupendous, mind-boggling, mind-blowing, jaw-dropping, out of this world, far out; literarywondrous
"an incredible feat of engineering"

That's it folks.
My first ride in over a year and I chose that. Heck, I finished Lake Tahoes Most Beautiful bike ride 100 miles with not riding in a year either.
I've got to get back on the saddle more often and explore these great climbs that surround LA.
Want to be my riding buddy?
Just be warned... I take my time :)

The jist of the ride included 50.5 miles, 6,519 ft in elevation gain and it took 4:24 hours.
Definitely satisfied my itch to be outdoors.
This week has been dedicated to rest and recovery considering I have plantar fascitis in my left foot. Less running, more stretching, strength training and naps.
Lots of naps.

I am grateful for this day and hope their will be many more like this to come!

Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness










Beacon Rock 50k and all its glory

LISTEN to me
Rather than finish the three post I have in my editing section of my blog, I thought I should shed some light on the events of this past weekend as it is fresh in my mind.


It's difficult to describe the race when it wasn't your normal 6+ hour event that you drive to, run the course and drive home. Beacon Rock 50k was my first official 50k race, weirdly enough I've signed up for farther distances and yet never completed an official 50k other than my own training runs.

Beacon Rock 50k/25k is put on by Rainshadow Running who also put on the wonderful yet painful Gorge Waterfall 100k/50k in March. This event however is their best kept secret- quite literally. It is one of the most unique destination race weekends I've participated in. They offered their runners the opportunity to camp amongst their family and friends (Dogs are welcome too!!!). Located in Beacon Rock State Park along the Columbia River Gorge the mid-June weather offered quite the spectacle of natures beauty.


Leading up to race weekend I found myself stressed from life's hurdles. Dealing with a car that is on it's last strand of life, it being completely ransacked of anything valuable and late hours of work left me with little to no sleep. On the verge of what seemed like a melt down escaping for the weekend seemed to be the light at the end of the tunnel.
The mere hurdles of material possessions wasn't going to bring my spirits down.
I am healthy, Juniper is healthy- and for that I am extremely happy and grateful.

I didn't quite understand the magnitude of fun Rainshadow events were until I participated in the Gorge Waterfalls 100k.
There at the 100k finish line is where I met Dave. He's running every race that Rainshadow Running puts on and at its longest distance. He showed me a few of the videos of their races and I was hooked already.
I couldn't wait to sign up for another!

Friday, June 12th couldn't come fast enough. The three hours of sleep was welcomed by the idea that I would soon be on my way to Portland. I arrived around 9am and was quickly off to Beacon Rock State Park.
We had till around 3pm to see the sights before setting up camp. The road to the park ran along the Columbia River Gorge where just on the other side was where Gorge Waterfalls took place.

People slowly started trickling in and setting up camp and by sunset there were heaps of kids roasting their smores by the community fire.



RACE DAY:
50k Start time: 8am
25k Start Time: 9am
Kids 1k start time: 8:45 -> Isn't that the cutest!!!

To summarize the course is that it is a 25k loop around the state park. 50k runners run two loops and 25k runners run, well, ONE.
It's an extremely fun course other than that you run to the finish line and have to do another loop. You kick start the course on pavement but have no fear- its short. The majority of the course is on the best trails that Beacon Rock State Park have to offer (so I believe) you cover Hardy Ridge, Hardy Creek and Hamilton Mountain. On Hardy Ridge their is an option to go off trail a little to check out the views. It was crystal clear that you could see the views of the Cascades and the snow on Mt Hood and of course the entire Columbia River Gorge. One loop offers about 3700 feet in fain with two big Climbs following a downhill for both.


Looking at the course it seemed very runnable, however, seeing how little sleep I received the whole week leading up to race day- my body was screaming with fatigue. I wanted to enjoy the course, take in the beautiful scenery and by scenery I of course mean of running behind a very stud of a man wearing a cropped turquoise Ninja turtle tank and short shorts. The very meaning of a dangling carrot infront of me and the only reason why I continued to even run.

If you didn't know, all of the aid stations are fully equipped with food. We all know how I love food, but more specifically my obsession and slight addiction with, TRAIL BUTTER. Well the turn around point, also the finish line for 25k runners, I spent a little too much time socializing at the aid station and by socializing I mean seizing every opportunity to eat as much trail butter as possible. The tortillas were merely a vessel for the nutty spread, the best vessel of course being the Oreo's. Hey, I can socialize and get my trail butter fix in at the same time.

It wasn't till I turned the corner out of the campsite that I felt as though I'd, against my own will, gift the pavement with all the food sizzling in my stomach. The climb up to Hardy Ridge was exciting to say the least. The fatigue was hitting me quite forcefully along with the feeling that I would hurl at any possible moment...
Reaching the aid station I headed straight for the water, I couldn't even look at the trail butter- WE'RE FIGHTING. Staying hydrated was all I could think about, Dave having to remind to to breath properly at times.
Who needs oxygen anyways?


The run through Hardy Creek I felt my body finally agreeing with what I was doing (normally that happens around 18 miles). It was during the small section before the Hamilton climb that reminded me of running Gorge Waterfalls 100k.
The same feeling of pure ecstasy and thinking of how lucky I am to experience this- to be running alongside mother natures beauty. The views were intoxicating and I was drinking it's koolaid rapidly. Reaching Mt. Hamiltons scenic vista I was kicking myself quite literally for not bringing my camera. I am aware that pictures won't do what I was experiencing justice but damn- the sight is one to experience.


The run down both Dave and my spirits where high. He was counting down the mileage- well the kilometers as I was counting down the mileage. Our steps seemed to pace eachother as we ran until we could cross that finish line and get the infamous high five from race director James.

The rush of completing an ultra is unexplainable, with any distance it always is an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment. Despite the agony my body was feeling during the race, everything didn't matter once I crossed that finish line. The experience was well worth it and definitely something I would return to experience again.

After races I'm accustomed to mingling and then leaving soon after. This is not like any other race.
The finish line is when the party essentially begins. Rainshadow race directors pride themselves in their spirit of community and you surely will feel it at the finish of any of their races. NO medals or race money is won, instead you are give a high five and a big party with fellow runners that within seconds will be your new friends for life.
With such a warm day you'll be laying in the sun-warmed grass, drinking local beer, eating bottomless woodfire pizza (veg/ vegan friendly!) and other great food, and listening to live music from The Pine Hearts. Lets not forget the return of the SLIP-N-SLIDE.


Coming to this race in particular I knew that I would know only one person and yet I never felt as though I was a stranger to anyone. The participants were social and friendly. Anywhere I sat I was welcomed with open arms into the conversation and made friends from all sorts of areas. With such a passion for a sport it's hard not to embrace people with that similar fire lit inside for that love of nature and her trails.

A majority of the runners, their friends and family camped at the finish line meaning the party continued until after the sun set. The camp fire was lit and soon all were surrounding it, gathering for warmth as well as just to converse with each other and listen to some rad acoustics.
The only way I could describe how it felt in the simplest way:
Imagine inviting 200 of your closest friends to a camping weekend with great food, great beer, live music from The Pine Hearts and throw in a fun group trail run in the middle. NO biggie.

I don't quite know what time it was that I went to bed, after 11:30 sometime. The area had no reception which ment my phone sat in the tent a majority of the time and my watch, surprise surprise, died after I finished the run.
I attempted to stay up longer but with sleep filled eyes, I could no longer hang with the few remaining. (Few meaning mostly everyone and me just being a sleepy big baby).

Needless to say I slept like a rock that night and better than I had all week.

Sunday morning was filled with more see you later than goodbyes.
Eating breakfast, chatting with new friends, lounging and eventually packing.
Even then after everyone had left just laying out in the sun warmed grass soaking in the sun.
Dang you Pacific North West, why do you have to feel so nice.
It makes going back to the polluted, traffic, overpopulated city that is LA so much more difficult.

I didn't have to be back in Portland for my flight till 8pm which means I could spend a bit more time enjoying the sound of the wind, the heat of the sun, the smell of the surrounding nature, the taste of the wild raspberries that grew, the view of the Gorge and just relax.


Now that I'm back in Los Angeles it's as though my PNW trip was all a dream.
Nature exists!
Trees are supposed to be green, flowers DO bloom, mountains DO have snow, water DOES flow.
And believe it or not... you can actually drink tap water- I know, I know... seems unreal but I kid you not it is true.
It all seems so unreal and definitely un-Southern California esk.

Now I understand why my best friend Brooke and her husband Patrick moved back to Washington!
I get it!

Socal has some great perks and I'm in dire need of an adventure soon in order to remember that.
(hint hint Vince)

I'll just continue dreaming of the Pacific North West and until my next race there- Oregon Coast.
Like Rainshadow races claim to leave you wonder...
Why run anywhere else?


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness


The adventure from Wrightwood to Mt Baldy and back


Ahoy there all you reading in cyber world.

It's been a struggle to sit down and actually put into words the roller coaster of adventures I've been experiencing.
At first the roller coaster seemed to malfunction and was under repair for almost two weeks.
Two.
Weeks.

Meaning I went for a run after Gorge and did SOMETHING that overworked my ankle and was unable to run or do any sort of exercise for two weeks. After experiencing the world wind of Gorge Waterfalls 100 k race, but body wanted to 1. continue to run 2. eat EVERYTHING in my sight or that can be purchased and in my hands in 20 min.
So once I was injured- I was on option 2 for the time being.

After two weeks I was depressed, moody, unhappy, hangry, etc. I had made an immediate appointment with my favorite sports masseuses over at LA Sports Massage located on the West Side... no where near where I live by the way. Despite the distance, it was well worth it. I walked out feeling amazing and the pain in my ankle almost 100% gone- almost.

Since Gorge 100k I have had several amazing adventures and although I would like to portray every detail on each one, time is of the essence and today time permits only one adventure.
This is the latest one and may be one of my favorites- shhh... don't tell anyone.

These last few months my friend Vince and I have been planning to run from Wrightwood to Mt. Baldy and back via the North Backbone trail however due to either work or schedule conflicts- it had yet to happen.
Somehow last Monday evening Vince asked me if I wanted to run and seeing how I did a very difficult leg workout earlier that day- I said I was available to go on an adventure but would enjoy more climbing and less easy running seeing how my legs may be a bit tight.
Either way I knew I was going to be sore- but go big or go home right?

We both had the day off and we had agreed on more of a late start than normal. Juniper and I met Vince at his house around 9am and were off on the road.
Maybe it was the bottle of wine I had the night prior or my lack of proper judgment but I had decided to feed Juniper a new brand of dog food for breakfast in hopes that she would be nice and full for our adventure.
Well she was definitely full all right. After 30 minutes of trying to tell us something... she let go of her fullness in Vinces car- thankfully on a blanket that covered the seat.
Dog owner fail on my part- it was an easy clean up and thankfully NOT messy but boy was that a nice little kick start to our adventure.
Jeez Juniper.
After a very short debate on where we will be starting... normally the process goes; Describe our options, what do you think our best option is and Sawna always agrees. Easy as that. Just tell me where and when and I'll be there- Sawna's always down is what my friends say. Is that a good thing or a bad thing, I'm going with good.

We arrive in Wrightwood with a failed attempt to start as close to the acorn trail as possible when end up parking at the Good 'Ol Wrigthwood Community Center where the Angeles Crest 100 race begins.

We make it maybe a quarter of a mile and needless to say we were both up to turn around go back to Jensens Market pick up some beer and call it a day. Juniper on the other hand was not okay with that idea.
While Vince and I complained the whole way up, she played fetch; ran far up the trail and back, played with the pine cones, and really showed us how lazy we really were.

Once we reached the top of the acorn trail where it connects with the PCT we turned left versus the normal right to continue onto the AC100 course. We immediately ran into two PCT hikers that Juniper was so excited to say hi to.

We continued on the PCT, Vince and I definitely taking our time on this flat section as we slowly hiked across- we didn't want to miss the connection to Pine Mountain.

At this point I was very happy I didn't listen to Vince's recommendations in wearing tights because of the snow- despite the snow sections it was warm out and I was already regretting wearing a long sleeve shirt. He, on the other hand, was definitely enjoying full tights and long sleeves- haha SUCKA.

Pine Mountain (elevation 9,648) was a death march.
Yes I may have worked out my legs the day before.
Yes I may have partook in drinking a whole bottle of wine during dinner.
Yes I was cursing at myself every step up to the peak of Pine Mountain.

Whoa- what a roller coast that was. It was a very strenuous climb and I hated myself more and more for it with every step.
Why do I constantly put myself in this position?
Why do I say yes to every adventure?
Why can't I just stay home and do something normal- like laundry?
Why am I doing something I'm obviously not enjoying?

All questions going through my head in between the few cuss words I may have said to myself.

What a pansy I was.

Once we got up to the peak of pine we took a few photos and I was able to give Juniper her first sweet potato as she denied my request to take a photo with us. Little fart face she was being- let be honest she rarely listens to me to begin with.

To say I was in a funk is an understatement. Vince seemed all peppy although he kept saying that he wanted to turn back.
Lets be honest- he only said that because he knew I was struggling.
I call him an enabler.
He continued saying how we still accomplished a great climb and that we earned our beers but Mt. Baldy was still in the distance and I wanted to be on that summit whether I was happy about it or not.

I told myself to "MAN UP SAWNA" and although I was looking forward I told Vince that we had to continue.
Go big or go home right? And I wasn't going home until we accomplished what we had set out to do.

The run down and up Dawson felt more like a crawl. Every ounce of my body was upset we hadn't turned around and it was telling me it was not ready to run. I shut that little voice in my head and continued forward.
Once we were on Dawson my mood had lightened up. There's no turning around at this point.

It was a nice steep run down, continue on the ridge for about half a mile then a steep climb up.
Literally felt as though I was climbing, at points hands on the ground telling myself; left foot, right foot, left hand, right hand- continue.

Ascending Baldy on this side there was extreme amounts of snow however it never got dangerous for us to continue our ascent. There were, however, a few times when we had to climb over a small patch of snow and I'd slip and scream bloody murder(literally screamed for my life) and Vince just mimicked me. I must admit, I probably sounded close to a yapping parrot.


This whole adventure between both Vince and I playfully complaining out loud and pretending to lay on logs and climb weirdly shaped trees we had play list going. We could start a band and be the singers our voices were perfectly harmonized and angelically matched the chirping of birds and whistling of the wind.
NOT.

Here's an idea of what we were belting out.
I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone- Jimmy Cliff
I Believe in A Thing Called Love- The Darkness
Lean On Me- Seal
Baby Got Back- Sir Mix A Lot
Sometimes- Britney Spears

I can't really think of any others.

Once we arrived at the peak of Baldy- it was pure happiness. There was something about that last climb.
The farther up we climbed the happier I was. Once we reached the peak- I was ecstatic. Perhaps it's the altitude and the less amounts of oxygen reaching my brain?


We were there a mere few minutes before my body warmth started to disappear and the cold started to settle in.


Seeing that I this was new territory for me I believe I didn't enjoy it to the fullest because I didn't understand the distance and or how the terrain was going to be and I was constantly worried. Once we started to descend Baldy all that weight on my shoulders disappeared and I was having the most fun I've had in a long time!


Juniper was having the time of her life in the snow. She was not affected by elevation or the amount of climbing we were doing.
We descended Baldy with one final snow run/slide before heading to Dawson. Thanks Vince for reaming into me!


Heading back to Wrightwood seemed as though it flew by. I honestly felt 100% better and my body agreed!
It finally warmed up to the idea of running and every pain I felt earlier had disappeared.

Acorn trail was by far my favorite section to run down. Since Gorge I have had a lingering pain in my feet that has kept me from actually flying downhill. Today there was no pain and I was able to run my fasted downhill and what seems like months! Despite having to stop a few times to ensure little June bug was behind me, it was definitely one of my favorite moments. She is not too keen on speeding down mountains as she is ascending them but it's something we are working on. She kept pretty close behind me and the three of us were able to run swiftly back to the car.
Oh and we saw a bear, well a dog that looked like a bear... same same but different.


At last, the feeling of accomplishment. This feeling I ache for!
"I just want to climb, big, steep, nasty ridges leading up to high summits. I was the burn of thin air".
The pain is what I truly enjoy and is something I may forget in the moment but truly appreciate at the end.
It makes it all worth it.


I'm still laughing over here thinking of the beautiful 70 degree weather and Vince in long tights. HA. Sorry man!

After a job around the parking lot and a pit stop to the bathroom we head back to Jensens for some truly deserved beer.
We picked up Modern times and Mammoth Lakes Brewing Co IPA and of course a nice meaty snack for Junebug.

Definitely some fine tasting beer while sitting in the parking lot of Grizzly Cafe as we await for our Veggie burgers.
After a very nice conversation with the hostess about how two very equally awesome people can be just friends- we received our burger and fries.
HEAVEN.
That's what it tasted like.
We ate as if we hadn't seen food in a while- silence in the car and all you can hear is chewing and processing of the burgers with an occasional sip of beer.
HEAVEN.

The car ride home consisted of re-living the days adventure and how completely awesome it was and me falling asleep.

Wrightwood to Mt Baldy is a difficult climb but it is well worth the struggle for the absolute beauty the San Gabriel Mountains have to offer.


I can't wait for the next adventure!
What's next?


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness

Getting personal with Gorge Waterfalls 100k

(RIGHT CLICK ME-> Open new tab for music during your read)

Ray of light peeks through the trees.
Teasing you with kisses of sunlight.
Trees don't look normal here; moss covered branches, deep green colored leaves wet from the clouds tears.
Each step taken is welcomed by the soft terrain and by the trees blossomed flowers and leaves.
There is no sound other than the cracking of water, the chirping of distant birds, the occasional songs of the wind passing through and then there is the heavy deep breath coming from my lungs.
I'm in my own world- there is no one around me.


I lean on a rock and look around me.
The idea of sitting here forever has crossed my mind.
Time has stopped.
Nothing matters.
There is a mist in the air cooling my cold sweat dripping down my chest as I watch my breath come in and holding back from tears going out.
I don't want to go further, but I don't want to go back.
My body feels strong- possibly the strongest it's ever felt but I am unable to move my feet.
I focus on my breathing, trying to not think of possible failure and consider hope.
My breath is uneasy, it breaths in the cold mist from a nearby waterfall but am unable to breath out.. a dry taste in my mouth from forcing the tears back.

Focus.

I take a step, then another and continue on forward. I'm too close.
I think of the 52 miles that have gotten me to this spot, this exact moment and I promise to myself I am never doing this again. Nothing of the sort. I'm giving up.
Despite this beauty, despite the happiness it once brought me.
Nothing can equate to the pain that I was feeling at that moment.
A memory jolts me back to reality...

It's 2am and I'm laying in bed at the Troutdale motel 6.
Sleep resides on my eyelids as I push the covers away and sit up.
30 minutes before the alarm would sings it's tune here I am awake.
I start my prep, one that I am definitely not accustomed to but a prep of what I know for any sort of race.
How does one prep to run 62 miles?
Feeling like a baby learning how to walk... it's all from experience.
This, Gorge 100k will be my second 100k and my overall 4th Ultra or 5th if you consider an attempt.
I'm fresh to races in general and am learning what works for me as a runner, and what doesn't.
I pack what I think I may possibly need in two different drop bags.
Normally just extra nutrition. Cliff bars, shot blocks, almond butter, peanuts- all things I've trained with successfully.

Once Carlos is up things are somewhat turned into reality.
C-Los!
When I think of Carlos, I think of my first ultra, Leona Divide 50mi, and I remember as one of my coaches he was always an inspiration.
Even when I had food poising three days before the race- I could here his voice saying that I can overcome this and still race!
Those were the days.

I call my dad from the car en route to the race and wake him up. He gives me some words of encouragement and I send him back to his slumber.
This doesn't feel real. How am I in Portland?
I look outside and I see dark trees pass and pass quickly- nothing but trees.
Walking around the starting line I feel like a fish out of water. I see all these fellow runners but don't actually feel like one of them .
They all have their stuff together, stretching, talking amongst each other and I feel the uneasiness of my stomach.


4:04 am and the race begins.
I feel as though I'm watching all the runners pass from above but not actually participating. Brights colors and flashes of lights pass through the park. Sounds of feet hitting the gravel.
I hear people chatting in the distance but unable to focus on anything other than where my foot will step next.
That uneasiness in my stomach on growing with each minute that passes.
After the first mile we start our first climb. Still on cement. I can't help but to look up, with my light shining I can see the mist and in the distance I see a line of trickling lights all moving in the same direction, tall ones short ones all in line moving upward.

Time ticks on... very slowly.
It's still dark. It's raining ever so lightly.
My stomach is still churning.
The idea of throwing up or going to the bathroom crossed my mind.
Maybe I'll feel better.
But in a line of other runners and I'm unable to move to the side without falling down the mountain.
There is no other direction to go but forward.

I find myself unable to concentrate. I'm 5 miles in and I'm already not enjoying myself.
I scold myself for having a few too many beers and eating poorly at McMenamins the day before.
Anything would've provoked this.
Nobody to blame but myself.

Entering the first aid station No name around mile 6 I decide to continue instead of releasing whatever uneasiness it was sitting in my stomach.
Just keep going was my thought.
Poor decision making on my part- surprise surprise.
The farther I go, the slower my steps are, the longer time feels to go on and the worse my stomach starts to feel.

I pass by the 2nd aid and instantly see Jc, Melissa's fiance.
He asks me how I am and I quickly respond with something along the lines of not good and stomach issues.
I realize those are the first words I've spoken since the race begun.
I quickly pass through that aid station as well, afraid that someone else will ask me a question and I will have to speak again.

About 13 miles down.
I continue onward.
I attempt to make conversation with a woman I was running next to the last mile. We talked for a bit and continued on our own path forward.
About two miles later I'm drenched in a cold sweat.
Beads dropping down my face as I watch them hit the floor- I'm moving that slow.
My hands are around my stomach and I'm hunched over.
I feel the sour saliva in my mouth. Super sexy.
The single track turns into an open area. Hope.
I've got to find a spot to go to the bathroom.
You can say what you want. We all do it. But at this point I may explode.
It won't be a pretty sight.
And it doesn't help that I'm wearing lime green shorts. (insert shocked emoji face here)

At this point I've gone to the bathroom three times. My stomach still not at ease and definitely will re consider my food choices before a race next time.

I catch up to the group I've lost and start to feel slightly better.
Coming into mile 22 Cascade Locks aid station I see JC and I feel instantly so relieved to see a friendly face.
I'm feeling reborn. My stomach back to normal my spirits high.

I initially wanted to race this course. Run my little heart out.
I've settle to just completing it. Have fun, Sawna!
Enjoy yourself.
Take in the surroundings.
The beauty.


After Cascade locks- my body felt warmed up. My feet no longer hurt.
I eased in to a good pace, a solid easy run and was able to continue forward passing several runners that had passed me earlier in the day.
I'm running and am feeling great.
I speed into Wyeth and quickly drink a cup of coke while a angel of a volunteers shocks me with my drop bag asking me if I needed anything from it.
I word vomited something along the lines that he was an angel face and that I was so thankful for his help. Angel!
I grab my cliff bar and quickly set back out on the course.
Feeling great- I didn't want to lose what I was feeling.
This is it. This feeling- it's why I continue this craziness of running. It's an amazing feeling.
I continue onward. Running every step, a slow run but still running.
At some point I hear steps behind me.
A mile in I decide to make conversation.
Josh- I'm talking about YOU! (May have stolen some of your pictures).
We were able to run consistently to the next aid station at mile 40.
At that point I didn't wait- Grabbed another cup of coke my cliff bar and off I went.
Somehow only taking under a minute at each aid station.
GET 'ER DONE is all I can think about.

I continue forward- in an absolute runners high I stop to take a few pictures of the incredible beauty surrounding me. Breath taking views of trees as tall as I can see, green moss carpet covered rocks.

The next aid station didn't seem as close as my feet started to feel the pain from the rocks returning.
These rocks are sharpened knifes waiting to strike at any moment.
With my right plantar still having issues- every step was shooting pain causing my right foot to lose feeling.

I catch up to this girl and what seems like her pacer and I run behind them for a minute or two. I notice this guy running in place as the poor girl is hiking up, very slowly, as if in low spirits as he is talking endlessly and very loudly. My goal- to pass them and get far far away before I punch the guy. As we are climbing I decide to just go for it as he is still running in place. I'm pretty sure I gave him the look of death. I feel pretty bad for that girl- definitely wouldn't want him to be my pacer.

I watched my watch with every mile passing. 49 couldn't come any faster- and when I reached 49 and I knew I still had a mile till the aid station, my spirits were quickly diminishing.


Running into the aid station I tried waving to the camera as I knew my dad had spent all morning watching Ultra TV's live race. I didn't see JC or Carlos at the aid station and I almost panicked. They were bringing me more nutrition as I didn't have a drop bag there.
I grab a few Pb&J's and hoped for the best. Running out of the aid station I see them in the distance getting out of their car.
My hands fly up with sudden relief. I'm in pain.
My feet hurt. My spirits are low.
But having the proper nutrition- I'm at least slightly comforted about that.

The next two miles is mostly flat road.
EXCITING.
Not.
After eating those PB&J's I feel almost instantly sick to my stomach and feel like it essentially went right through me.
I ended up running until I could barely run/walk looking for the nearest bush to release whatever this is that is making me ill.

It never happened. I continued forward. Onward into the hurt locker.

I leap frog with a girl and end up passing her afraid that I may be sick infront of her. This is where all things went sour.
Full circle back to where I began my story.

Focus.

I take a step, then another and continue on forward. I'm too close.
I think of the 52 miles that have gotten me to this spot, this exact moment and I promise to myself I am never doing this again. Nothing of the sort. I'm giving up.
Despite this beauty, despite the happiness it once brought me.
Nothing can equate to the pain that I was feeling at that moment.
A memory jolts me back to reality...

A memory I choose to forget, black out if you must say.
A race I attempted back in August- one that I gave up on.
One that broke my body down.
This, today's race, can never equal the amount of pain that I was in during the 24 hour span.
Today's excuses will never equal to what had happened that day.
I will not give up the way I did during that race.

I realize at that moment- my breath starts to normalize.
My step quickens and my walk turns into a run. Mind you, a slow run but running it was!
Realizing at that time, the pain I was complaining about had suddenly disappeared.

I decided in that moment that I have one DNF. Only one and as long as it doesn't get to how I was during that specific race- I have no reason to shut my body down again.
I will not give in.
I will not give up.
No matter what- I was going to finish. Coming this far I will not let a little mental block break me down.
If I walk or if I run- nothing will stop me.
It is up to me whether it will take me an hour and a half... or three hours to finish.
How long do I want to continue?

My answer- the faster the better. SO I RAN!
I continued running forward and continued running up.
Thinking how close I was to finishing I giggled to myself. I've ran so far without falling- this has to be a record for me.
My buddie Vince has always said that I'm only allowed to fall once.
He's experienced my clumsiness.
Remembering what my friend and ganbatte crossfit coach JP would tell me... my form.
When I get lazy and tired my form goes out the door.
I instantly correct my posture, my hands turn properly and are lowered and I lift my feet a bit higher.
At that point Josh finally caught up to me, boy is that guy strong!
Apparently we both struggled at the same time.

So we ran together. Hiked the last incline and continued onward.
With my endorphins kicking and my spirits finally back at its height.
We continued to chat and even stopped at a few creeks and drank the cold refreshing water.

I continued to run and when there was a decent. I sprinted.
There was about a mile of decent that was our first climb in the beginning of the race that was all gravel.
I sprinted. Ran by several different people and one one of the hairpins I completely slipped and SLID.
Like a cartoon character slipping on a banana peel.
But with the forward movement I picked myself up and continued.
Continued onto the finish line where Carlos arrived maybe seconds before.


Upon your finish your instantly greeted with a high five by the race director.
As well as greeted with several kegs of beer and fresh made pizza to order. This beats any race medal and finishers top I've ever received.
My kind of party!
I've instantly forgotten the 13 hours of pain that I endured.
But remember the close knit community that share this intense pursit of happiness.
It's not just the adventure of running in the mountains but it's the people you share it with.
The trail community is such a wonderufl tight knit group that I can easily say I have yet met one bad bunch!
That's just it.
It's a life style.
I consider my training these last few months.
My hundred mile weeks or any high mileage week I completed was never because I HAD to train.
Rather because I wanted to- it just so happened to equal a three digit final number.
If you look at my training. I would rather go spend the day and get lost in the mountains for an odd number of miles than have a hard training day and not really enjoy myself.
Can I be in the mountains everyday?
Well I'm trying but it's not too reasonable with a 40+ hour work week tagging along.

But till then- I will continue.
Continue my mountain adventures.
Continue to run these incredible races.
Continue to love mother nature and all its resources.
No matter all the minor humps I have to get over... physically and mentally.
I know I'll always want to run.

And next year you bet I'll be back at the Gorge for another round of the 100k distance.
Psshhhhhh- can't get rid of me that easily.

Now... I'm off to attempt my first run since Saturday.
If you could tell my stomach to stop being so hungry- I'd appreciate it.
Last night I ordered two different Thai dishes and dropped my mango sticky rice on the floor- you're welcome Juniper.
Call me Sawna the garbage disposal, the never ending stomach.


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness.


Beer anyone?









Tapering PRE Gorge 100k

Someone once told me I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Whether that's a good thing or bad- I don't know.

Yesterday, Sunday, while at work this Spanish couple comes into my store and he quickly greets me and says its good to see me.
Um... do I know you?
My initial thought.
Of course I said nothing of the sort.

I was helping his girlfriend locate a basic black whicking moisture tank and he approaches me while she is in the fitting room.
He then asks me if there is something bothering me.. it seems as though there is something I am deeply focused on and that my energy is steering in that direction. He then explains that it isint that I'm not happy, but am nervous or is worried about an upcoming event.
WHAT THE HECK.
Normally I answer frankly but today was not that kind of day. What am I supposed to say?
I was stunned.
I responded with a casual... I'm great!

10 minutes before this incident I was browsing the Gorge 100k website.
They had posted a 100k Preview with a run down of all the elites racing.
My idea going into this race was to not over think things.
Just to enjoy the process, the ups and downs, the adventure 61 miles of running brings.
Reading this just somewhat made the butterflies in my stomach start fighting.
Hench why this man I've never known just read me like a Nicholas Sparks book.

I'm not completely sure why I got nervous after reading the entry list.
I do consider myself still so fresh to this ultra community, I can't help but get the jitter bugs before race day!
61 miles is no joke!

T-minus 5 days till I will be toeing the line in Oregon yet again for another 61 miles.
Less than 2 months ago I was running Sean O’Brien 100k here in beautiful southern California.
Last week, oh boy, last week was tough. Tapering has gotten the best of me.
I"M GOING LOCA!
CRAZY IN THE HEAD.
ABSOULTELY BANANAS.

I'm still exercising, yes, however not to the extent I want to be.
Adventure awaits and yet I'm doing short boring runs and spending time at the gym... it just makes me so lackadaisical.
Say that word ten times fast... pisshhhhh.

Tapering has proven wonders during a race and that is why I am strictly enforcing myself to continue it.
I have to admit, I enjoy having the time to clean my apartment, do laundry, catch up with friends... blah blah blah.
The things you do when your not running 4-8 hours of your day.
Isn’t that normal?
I have all this stored energy and I can't really do anything with it except have dance parties.
Dance parties in cars.
Dance parties at work.
Dance parties at the grocery store- YOU NAME IT.
(Don't doubt me- I may be a terrible dancer but these parties do exists).

I leave for Portland Thursday night and meet up with C-Los at the airport around 10pm.
I'm flying in from Burbank and he's flying from LAX but arriving the same time. PERF!
Honestly, I don't know what to expect.
I want to run strong.
I want to run smart.
I want to take some epic pictures.
I want to eat some stellar vegan food.
I want to taste some yummy beer.


Until then I'll try to not eat tubs of hummus in one sitting... starting tomorrow.
I still have a container of almond butter in my purse, you know, when I need to get my fixin.

THE COUNTDOWN IS ON!

Till next time,
peace, love, happiness.

Funday Tuesday on Mt. Baldy


My alarm clock went off at 5:30 am.

To me 5:30 am is sleeping in when the last few weeks I've been waking up naturally around 4am-4:30am.
Weird, I know.

Sitting on the side of my bed unable to open my eyes I remember only a mere few hours ago I woke to Juniper laying on the pillows next to me just staring at me.
Please let it be not what I know it is.
Please just lay your head back down to sleep.
Please don't get up and go to the door.
Please, ugh, please don't cry.

As I thought all these things, Juniper rises immediately- jumps off my bed and sits and waits by the door.
Basically saying "HEY MOM! Get your butt up and take me outside now to use the bathroom". Perks of living in an apartment.
I'm thankful Juniper and I speak the same language... or I'd be in trouble.

Well, when that 5:30 am alarm went off I sat on the side of my bed rocking back and forth.
As though I was going crazy.
Maybe I am! Who wakes up that early on their day off!

I literally feel as though I was beaten with a stick while sleeping. I have never felt this bad waking up early.
I can bail, I can just sleep in and enjoy being home on my day off- aren't I supposed to be tapering anyways.
Silly thoughts I just swept aside.
There is NO WAY I'm passing up an adventure on the mountains.
Save the complaining for another time when it's acceptable.

7am I meet up with Vince at his house for a carpool to Baldy.
One reason I just couldn't flake on today, well other than me not being a flake, is that the trail we were supposed to be doing is one I have never done before.
I've ran down it once back in November. At that time I didn't know what it was and that it was actually closed-WHOOPS.

8am we are parked at Brown canyon trail parking lot across from the Baldy lodge restaurant. Really easy to get to- especially if their is no traffic.

Spoon in my mouth full of almond butter, I'm running around the street in front of the restaurant chasing Juniper.
This is so embarrassing.
Naturally this is Junipers 'I'm FREE' run. She's rebellious and will escape any possible way of being on a leash.
Except there are cars and the idea of her being hit by a car before an adventure makes me choke on the almond butter I was, minutes earlier, forcing myself to eat.
This dog drives me bananas sometimes.
Absolutely BA-NA-NAS!

Before you actually reach the trail head- you walk pass a few random house and a cross a slight creek. It's not too distinct but as long as your following the street and not entering someones property... you're going the right way!
We reach the trail head and I free Juniper. At last!
It's a beautiful day out and although its quite warm I still pack my windbreaker knowing how ascending Baldy can get quite cold.

It felt like hours until we reached a mile, two miles, three...
Definitely was beaten with a stick last night and must've blocked it out from my memory.

What does one talk about while on such long runs?
This is my third run so far with Vince and I'm pretty sure we talked about everything.
Veganism, our families, buying cars, sleeping habits, races, training, life goals... you name it.
Time normally just flies by.

Today the clock ticked. My body ached, I couldn't breath, my head hurt, ugh- are we there yet?
I honestly couldn't tell you what was wrong with me other than lack of SLEEP.

I started feeling better toward mile 5 of our ascent. This is the point when the trail opened up from the single track of a rocky mess to more of a open terrain filled with crystal white snow.
Seeing the snow I instantly felt 100% better.
Also, seeing the amount of fun Juniper was having- it was hard not to feel instantly better.
This is when the adventure begun.


The running along the snow, getting shin deep in the snow and having absolutely no care in the world.
My ankles were numb, my socks soaked but we kept going, throwing a snow ball here and there.
This is why I woke up early.

We lost the trail... found it again and at certain points just sat on the ridge line and starred off into the distance talking about different trails, different adventures, possible new adventures.
The closer we got to the top of Baldy, the cold wind inevitably hit us. Thankful for that windbreaker I packed earlier.
When we reached the top we took a spot on the North side of the mountain to face Baden Powell.
We chatted about the trails that lead Mt. Baldy to Wrightwood and all the other connecting trails that are near.
Unfortunately my body temperature decreased far too quickly to continue sitting so off we went back down Bear canyon.

After a few minutes of hugging my hands around my body- I was warm again once again playing through the snow.
We were able to pick up some speed along with exploring some rock formations off trail.

While running down we saw two people in the distance- the first we've seen on the trail today!
Vince turned around with the widest grin and I honestly thought that he was genuinely happy to see others on the trail but once we ran closer I noticed why he was so happy.
It was Sage Canaday and girlfriend Sandi Nypaver.
How could we not stop and take a selfie with Sage, who days before ran a 2:20:02 at our very own heated LA Marathon!!!!
Holy Cow!
The day already had turned out amazing but at this point, I WAS OVERLY JOYED. EXSTATIC is more like it.

Needless to say, Vince and I ran down Bear canyon with the biggest grin on our faces!

Juniper on the other hand was ready to be done. Her extra few miles of running during our ascent really had her wiped by the time we were on our way back.
This girl!
She never learns to pace herself! She did extraordinarily well! I definitely waited for her around each corner to ensure she was still behind me but of course she trotted along- Juniper the happiest dog around!

As I sat at dinner with two friends visiting from Sweden, I retold the story. Honestly pretty shocked at how well the day ended up!
We were at Golden Road, not only my favorite place for local beer but their food is fantastic!

I honestly don't think my day would've been any better!
What an adventure!

So...
WHAT'S NEXT???

What lead up to, during, and after Seon O'Brien 100k

Hi!
My name is Sawna. You may remember me as the author of this so called blog. I know... it's been a while.
I swear I didn't give you up for lent... which reminds me that I didn't give anything up this year other than remembering lent. WHOOPS.

Back to the topic.
Sean O'Brien(SOB) has been on my to do list since 2014.
Unfortunately last year I had injured myself during Avalon 50miler in January that left me unable to run- even walk normally for four months.
Although I was unable to race, I volunteered at the first aid station of SOB 50/50. What an experience- one that left me itching to race even more!
After that injury I swore to myself that 2015 would start off on a better foot. (No pun intended).
I can promise myself plenty of things, which I do occasionalyl- but without action, without actually putting together a plan and executing it properly and efficiently... I'm all talk.

Once I was over the pain: pain of the body mind and soul of what happened during Angeles Crest 100 I finally sat down and incorporated a training regimen into my schedule.

I use training regimen very loosely. My main goal is to purely have fun. My want to run should sprout organically and not forcefully.
That is how I saw SOB100k.
This was my first 100k race and honestly didn't really know what to expect. I can say that for any race I participate in as I am still extremely fresh to the Ultra environment.

In the two months leading up to SOB my goal was to have a three week build then a rest week and start again. Along with running I incorporated more strength training, you know- weights, squats, burp(I can't say the word without crindging)ees ... all that jazz.

I also followed a strict two week taper. At which point I was ready for it.

Training for SOB included heaps of 3-4am wakeup calls and running the actual course with my pals Waymond, Stephen, Da, Carlos... the gang!
Friends that inspired me to TRY a bit harder, run a bit farther, and absolutely always have fun!

Race day felt like any other day. Early wakeup time to meet a bunch of friends for a run.
Except this run- well it was more than just a couple of friends.

My stomach dropped as the clock ticked down to 0 but off we 100kers went.
My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to have fun.
Don't go out too hard, you've done this a plethora of times Sawna- you don't need to go beyond your limits... at least not yet.

I remember watching the sunrise around mile 5 and thinking how grateful I am that all the pains I felt during those hard training runs are completely gone.
Shin pain; plantar pain, ankle pain poof- gone!

It was wonderful coming into the aid stations seeing so many friends just there to support!

Backbone loop is where I went into the hurt locker. I had a fantastic run down and cought up with a few friends at the aid station, it was the climb out that put me in the darkness.
I was going through the rollerdex of excuses in my head to just sit down and call it a day, however, nothing I was pulling up applied to anything I was feeling.
Honestly, my body was feeling great but my mind was lost.
During those couple of miles, I was pretty down on myself. Doubting my capabilities to complete any single race no matter the distance.
Why? That was what I kept thinking to myself.
Why did I sign up? Why did I think I could do this?
Why am I putting myself through another dnf?
The normal Sawna would've seriously punched this person I had mutated into.

Arriving at the aid station at the top I grabbed a cup of coke and a cliff bar while chatting with the volunteers.
Within a minute of drinking the soda and eating the small cliff bar I felt revitilized.
A whole new person.

You may have possibly caught me singing to myself all the way to Kanan. I felt great and I didn't care who knew it.
Running into Kanan for the second time I was surrounded with more friends, Team in Training and other ultra runners a midst.
Refuled my coke and cliff bar supply and off I went.

During the whole race I ran with a variety of people. Definitely my favorite part of racing is meeting and getting to know the person next to you during those miles you are running together.

Running into corral canyon I didn't know what to expect. I was definitely going through a rollercoaster of highs and lows and knew that this next loop was not my favorite.
What happened next is not what I had expected at mile 40-50 or felt during training but I felt great.

I had told myself that the faster I run, the faster I'd be done with this and to be honest- the quickest to a beer... where ever I could find one.

I paced myself and ran most way back up and returning to Coral Canyon I just continued on in a sprint off into LALA land.
Reminising of all the training runs I had been doing on the same trails and how extremely good I felt compared to those days.
Who would've thought that I would've felt better at mile 60 than I did at mile 1.
Passing so many friends on my way to the finish line I honestly didn't believe I had it in me but it was my longest completed race.

The last mile was in the darkness and crossing the finish line I was greeted by so many ultra friends and my best friend Lecia and her boyfriend were there with open arms- and a six pack of Laguinitas.
Damn that girl knows me too well.


It felt pretty good to have completed the whole coarse despite my attempt to drop several times.
That night I slept like a baby, quite literally, in the fetal postion with Juniper wrapped around my legs keeping them nice and toasty.

Thinking back how I felt after AC100, after Avalon, after Leona...I was dreading how I would feel after this race.
Honestly I just didn't want to look like I didn't know how to walk!
Surprisingly I was fine. I felt as though it was just another training run and I went along with my day as usual.
Farmers market with my sister, my mom came and visited and we had lunch and went to the book store. I felt great, tired, but great nonetheless.

SOB100k CHECK!

That same week I was able to start my Gorge 100k training with a solid training week consisting of Mt Wilson and my favorite, Mt Baldy.

I'm really too lazy to re-read any of this. I hope it makes sense.
I know I've already chatted with people on my race report but I thought it would only make sense to write it here... you know considering this is my running blog.

Next up Gorge 100k in two weeks and some change.

Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness suckas!





A reflection

(Written weeks ago)

It ended as quickly as it started.

I reflect back to August 2nd 5:00 am and what was racing through my mind.
It has been a mere 10 weeks since then and feel as though I have grown expodentionally within that time.

I can not pin point what went wrong, but I do know what I can do differently.

Leading up to August 2nd I had difficulty sleeping which, happy to catch 4 hours a sleep a night, which may be a leading cause to what occured race day.
This experience has been discussed various different times since but I want to state my official story-
right here, right now.

Training for AC in my mind went well. Yes there were times that I would go out the night before, consume several alcholic beverages and sleep, rather nap- before a training run.
It never really phazed me. It was when the insomnia kicked in.
July was terrible. I can not phathom the reasoning- I was not nervous nor was I stressed, I really thought all of this training was fun and enjoyed spending the countless hours on the trails.
My lack of sleep really affected my training that month. I ended my last few weeks of hard training with 90+ miles and even a week of 100+ however there was a few days were I would have to pull off the side of HWY 2 to take a 20 minute power nap before a training run.
WHO DOES THAT?

I don't know how it got to this point. I pride myself on being able to sleep less and still perform extremely well.
At this point though, my body was starting to shut down.

Yes, I picked the perfect time to adopt only the cutest puppy in the world.
She did take part on some of those sleepless nights, however only minimally.
I wouldn't take any of those days back.

Driving up Angeles Crest Hwy 2 on July 31st with my friend Louis Kwan- I could barely keep my eyes open... it was 4pm.
I didn't think anything of it. No matter what- I was going to toe that starting line in less than 48 hours.

What I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong- someone crazy enough to sign up for a 100+ distance run will probably not obtain that many sleep hours to begin with.

Back to RACE DAY.

5am August 2nd.

I had crew cheif Gionne, my best friend Lecia and my dad at my side.
I was surrounded by friends that I have spent countless hours training with over the course of this last year.
I was standing next to Da, whom I've trained with since the beginning, when 50 miles was just a dream of ours.
I couldn't catch my breath. Hiking up Acorn Trail couldn't have been any harder.
At the time I thought it was for the best, I didn't want to go out too fast, however, it never subsided.
Although I felt as though I had ten pound weights attached to each foot- I persevered.

The first 25 miles of the course has always been my favorite, well lets be honest- I've enjoyed each section of the AC100 equally but putting them all together in a matter of 33 hours is different.
This first section was difficult and I couldn't understand why. It was extremely frustrating to thing how easy it seemed during my training runs and how painful it was now.

Looking back at Baden Powell, all I can remember is the need for a nap and the feeling of weakness. This was a whole other game I was playing and I was not prepared for it.

After that things just got worse.
My calf cramping up coming down Mt. Williomson- after that I felt as though I many have pulled something.
I couldnt straighten my leg for the remainder of the race.

If it wasnt for Balmore, another race participant, who encouraged me up until Chilao.
I'd probably still be crying on that paved road to Mt. Hillyar while listening to 30 Seconds to Mars- City of Angels.
Seriously.

Coming into Chilao I had gained some weight and couldn't look anyone in the face for fear of loosing my mind completely.
I tried to stretch.
I tried to eat.
I tried not to cry.
I definitely did NOT want to continue.
But needless to say, Chilao brought the baby out of me.



If it wasnt for my crew, I wouldn't have continued.
I picked up my pacer Melissa here and in my mind I thought if I just kept going, no matter what speed, I'll get over whatever was happening to my body.


I thought... things couldn't get worse.
At that point it started raining.
DOWNPOUR.

I asked for it. I asked for all of this.
At this point I was walking, every step I focused on anything but the pain in my right calf and shooting pains through both knees.
Melissa in front and I just followed... throwing myself my own pity party THE WHOLE WAY.

My attempt to drop at shortcut was a complete fail. I sat in a chair for what seemed like hours.
It was freezing.
It was raining.
I just wanted to go home and be amongst my several warm blankets.


My crew, my wonderful crew pushed me forward and with a toasty bean burrito and a poncho to sheild that rain away... I continued.
To my surprise I was able to run partly down the fire road by counting the seconds out loud and the minutes on my hand.
It was a mere distraction from not only the pain, but the uncomfortable rain poncho I was wearing that was making a maddening noise.

I would like to say I hiked up to Newcomb saddle, but Melissa could tell you it was more of a crawl.
Too many times did I ask her to stop so I can curl in a ball on the side of the trail.
SLEEP.
It's all I wanted.
It's all I craved.

The next few miles were a blur. Sleep deprived and in pain I feel as though I have attempted to black it out of my memory.
What I can rememeber is walking, very slowly, down from Newcomb Saddle en route to Chantry.
A run that can take about an hour took over 3 to walk.
3 hours and all I could manage to say to Melissa was "How many more miles".
Something I asked maybe every minute.

Coming into Chantry was a crawl.
I think back to the first time I ran the loop around Chantry Flats with Kiley and Marcus about two years ago.
Thinking how incredible it was that I had just ran 9 miles on a beautiful trail. Who would've thought that we would all be attempting Angeles Crest together.

Chantry Flats.
Oh, Chantry Flats.

Coming in and getting weighed- all I could think about is food and laying down.
I had finally gotten my weight on track but the pain I was feeling at that point was unbarable.
Dean, my second pacer urged my to continue but crawling up Upper Winter Creek was something I couldn't even fathom.


I flopped on that yoga mat layed out for me and didn't get back up.
DNF. Not something I want to include in my vocabulary.

We all have bad days- even me. Of course I would've wished for it to be ANY OTHER DAY- but it was a learning experince.
One that I will never forget.

I will never forget the support from my friends and family.
The constant encouragement from my crew.
The motivation from another participant.
The assistance given by the race volunteers.

I will never forget what happend within the 24 hours I was on that course.
One would never know, only what was seen during the aid stations.
There are countless hours and mile between each time crew is accessible and that time makes or breaks you.

Laying on my parents couch the following two days- I couldn't help but think how crazy I was to sign up in the first place.
But when I found out I had missed signing up for next years race- I cried. Was I crying out of relief or saddness?
At the time it was probably relief however I know I'll be back.

I will finish what I started- if I have to wait two year so be it!

Angeles Crest 100... I will come back for you!

But for now, I'm going to sit back and enjoy the year... with only a few 100ks and 50 milers mixed in.



Till next time,
peace, love and happiness.
















Pre Angeles Crest 100 miler


So here I am, laying on a bed in the city of Wrightwood, CA.

I think of all the events that lead me to this very exact location at this précised time.
Why, how, when? All questions I am asking myself.

At what point do you ask yourself, Do you want to run a hundred miles?
Actually, I'm not one to ask. Lets be honest, I work in retail- I told myself that I wanted to run a hundred miles.

I think of this last year, everything that has occurred. The journey I've gone through in a mere 365 days.
Last year, I didn't know my left from rights, my ups from downs- I was a mess.


I have come to realize that life and how you perceive it can be alter in a matter of seconds, but in a year I am proud to say that I have grown.
Grown into something I am truly proud of. Proud of the decisions I have made, proud of what I have achieved and proud of goals I have worked so hard to accomplish.

To imagine that I have dedicated one whole year to this effort is incredible.
The family BBQs, the birthday parties, the late night randevours, all the events and things I chose to miss in order to get that extra day of training in- that full day of running.

It all comes down to this.
One day.
Eight hours.
I will be toeing the starting line.

It's quite the endeavor I have set out to do. I may accomplish it, I may fall short- but the fact is that I am here and I am excited.

To think back in January when I first injured myself I could barely walk.
I remember attempting to walk to Trader Joes on evening in mid February and having a meltdown a block away because I couldn't imagine taking another step. ONE STEP. To barely be able to jog a few miles up until April was painful.
Here I am now attempting a hundred miles in a time of under 33 hours- it's hard for me to fathom.

I am as ready as I can be.
Although there are a million and one things I would have change over the course of this year to better prepare myself, I did what I could and that's that!

Honestly, I do not know what's going to happen.
How I'll act.
How I'll feel.
How I'll eat.
How I'll even finish.

But I am going to try my best.
Ultimately that's what counts.



These last few months I have trained my ass off. I have attempted to grasp some sort of social life at the same time as well as working full time. (YES- I work full time despite what you may believe).
I attempted to manage my time, although at times I was calculating every minute of my day; wondering if I woke up at thirty minutes earlier- THE THINGS I COULD ACCOMPLISH.

(M83 currently playing- perfect background music)

Where would I be without my family and friends. They have supported me 110% throughout this whole experience.
I look forward to seeing them at each aid station cheering me on.
Honestly, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them.


Hopefully I'll be wearing my belt buckle while writing the next blog :)

Till next time,



Peace, love and happiness.
Sawna


MNB----> Seriously










Avalon 50 mile Recap Catalina Island

I KNOW.
I KNOW.
I KNOW.

Maybe it's just me very disappointed that it's taken me nearly a month to write this.
Here I am, right now, sitting and prepared.
That's what counts right?

I think back on Avalon 50 mile benefit run, and there's this overwhelming sense of happiness.
And hatred- but that has nothing to do with the race itself but my body.

It seemed as though everything was too good. Going too well. Lets start at the beginning.

I knew two people running the race and both started earlier. Standing at the starting line with my dad was fantastic.
In the midst of a race, we are sharing stories with other runners and feeling quite comfortable rather than nervous.
I, ofcourse, rocked my TNT head wrap (what the heck are those called?) and ULTRA team arm sleeves.
The gear striked up conversation with a fellow runner and we ended up having a ton of mutual friends.
What a great way to start a race.
That's not even the best part!

During Leona Divide 50 miler, I went out too fast and that resulted in extreme amounts of pain later in the race.
This time, I ensured that I kept a slow and steady pace- with the ultimate goal of being able to run most of the race and not overwhelm my body.
Considering the race began at 5am, it was pitch black.
The trails where lit by the breath and headlamps of other runners, what a view!
I ended up finally turning mine on around mile 4 and it resulted in a conversation started with a man running next to me.

We chatted for another three miles. Three miles is a pretty significant number to run and talk to a complete stranger.
We got to know eachother.
He was my highschool substitute teacher.
Who could forget a name like Mr. Rogers!
What a small world!

I met quite a few runners, chatted and then departed.
I FELT GREAT!
That's how it went.

Plain and simple.
Up until mile 42.

Once my feet hit a downhill pavement, my right knee did not agree with the pounding.
In retrospect- I took that section far too hard.

The next 8 miles were difficult to say the least.
Attempting to stay positive, hydrated and moving... forward.

The last few miles were a bit of a struggle. At that point I told myself to man up and keep going.
Run hop Run hop Run hop
all.
the.
way.
to.
the.
end.

I look back and ask myself- Was it worth it?

I haven't ran since that day, because of what took place.
I have no regrets.


Everyday my knee gets stronger and hurts less! I have a physical therapy apt. tomorrow and look forward to hearing positive results!



Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness!



*Move, nourish, believe...daily*

What does a year mean?

New Year's Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written.
New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved.
Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delish and self-discovery.
It's the day to carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand.
Only dreams give birth to change. WHat are your hopes for the future as you reflect on the years that have passed?
Gradually, as you become curator of your own contentment, you will elarn to embrace the gentle yearnings of your heart.
But this year, instead of resolutions,write down your most private aspirations.
Those longings you have kept tucked away until the time seems right. Trust that NOW is the time.
Ask the questions.
THis year will bring confidence that the answers will come and we will discover- day by day- how to live them.

Take a leap of faithe and begin this wondrous new year by believing.
Believe in yourself. ANd believe that there is a loving Sourse- A Sower of Dreams- just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.

New Years Eve was a day of reflection. As it is to most people, a day were all the events of the last year come to mold the person we are now- this very second.
WIth no responsibilities, no time restrains- I went out for a run.
Something I did hundreds of times this previous year, but this time being different.

No destination, no end goal but to run.
I seemed to have followed the same track as a previous run, my first 50k training run with TNT.
It just happened.
This 31ish mile run was peaceful and almost meditating for what it was for.
It was beautiful and serene.
I couldnt ask for a better way to end 2013 than to be lost in my thoughts within nature.


till next time,
Peace, love and happiness

Leona Divide Course Preview


I can honestly say that was one of my favorite runs.
Although I completely regretted my choice in wearing pants- I fully enjoyed every second of our official SECOND ULTRA team practice.

This year, due to the fires in Leona Valley, Leona Divide 50k/50mile will go back to the original course that treks more on the Pacific Crest Trail.

On Saturday,December 14th 2013. We jumped into our carpoolers car; blasted the seat warmers; drank our coffees as we set out for Leona Valley.
We had no idea where we were going! On our quest for a bathroom, thinking we've driven too far, we ran into our teams group of cars! SCORE!

Our run consisted of an out and back that was a complete 12 mile run. When I say run, I mean R U N. The section of the PCT was completely runnable and it was extremely refreshing to do just that- run.

I look forward to future training runs, longer training runs, on the course!!!

Below are some fun pictures captured during practice :)


COOL BEANS.

14 days left of 2013- have you done your good deed and donated yet??

Finish the year out with a bang- donate 5,10, 20 bucks... ANYTHING toward the fight to end blood cancer!
http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/leonadiv14/sawna

Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness


Paramount Ranch 30k and more

Last Saturday December 7th 2013 I participated in Paramount Ranch 30 kilometer trail run.
It was sup 30 degrees at the start.
Raining.
It was our ULTRAteams first race together.
I was in shorts.
Soaked head to toe.
It was muddy.
It was A BLAST.

Fellow ULTRA Team participant, Dean, and I made a deal before the race that we'd cruise together through the 30k. It was a good idea! Trail races do not have the amount of participants that marathons do. Easily one hurdred participants maybe, rarely do you have consistant company throughout the complete run. With the rain and 5 lbs of mudd stuck to each shoe, there was comfort in knowing that Dean was suffering just as badly as I was. Although he was wearing pants and I was in shorts (still believe I made a good choice).

There was a minor scare toward the last two miles of our second loop that the park rangers where not letting the 30k'ers complete the race due to the weather conditions Alas! it cleared, a bit, and we were able to continue onward to complete the full distance.

Although the mud was not convenient to say the least. The rain truly made the run interesting and soothing at times.
Here are some fun photographs captured during the race.



These last few weeks I have defnitely made it a point to not only increase my miles, but to increase my climbing. In doing so I have recurited a few running friends!
I have been frequenting Mt Wilson, Echo Mountain/Inspirational Point and Chantry Flats and look forward to updating my list of new trail visits!

Tomorrow is our second "official" UltraTeam practice. We are running part of the Leona Divide 50k/50m course. Looking forward to being on that trail again after a dramatic time apart.

Here are some fun photos of my last few runs- including todays run up to Mount Wilson via Chantry/upper winter creek with Dean. KICKED MY BUTT. On Tuesdays run up to Mount Wilson with Sansho- we were lucky enough to catch some SNOW. The first snow I've seen all season! Sansho quickly utilized it to hydrate. Him running whilst attempting to pick up all the snow- adorable. He was an angelic running partner that day and although it may seem shocking- he stayed by my side the entire time. I think he was afraind I'd have another panic attack/melt down again because of him :/ OH he was good until he had to jump 9ft to retrieve the deer hoof stuck on the side of the mountain. I said he could keep it if he could run with it- it lasted 5 miles. I find myself having a terrible time being mad at him when he is just the cutest and fastest beast I know! The ultimate running partner! Can he pace me for AC100?



I think that sums it up.

OH. If you want to keep me warm. This is on my wish list although its a terrible color or This because it comes in my size and I like BLACK!


AND If you are feeling EXTRA giving, considering it's the Holiday season. Please donate to LLS and aid the fight to end Blood Cancer. You can do that HERE
or here


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness.

Post script.
WE RUN FAST!

Los Angeles Traffic measured in Jelly Beans

It took me two hours to travel a total of 13 miles.
That's more time it would've taken me to run.
More time it would've taken me to cycle.

How much time do you think you spend in a lifetime sitting in traffic, especially in Los Angeles.
How much time in your life would you guess you spend watching televison; sleeping, cooking, working, etc.

This video really puts your "time" into perspective.
How much "time" you are give, how much "time" you may be waisting.



What if you were given one more day...
what would you do with it?

You can start by going here and donating to a cause that helps people that don't have an option to waste time- becuase they don't have time.
You can also go here



Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness

The month of November


We are one month into ULTRA Season NumeroDos, and our first official race is this Saturday.
Paramount Ranch.
I've opted for the 30k, why?
Right now, I'm questioning myself.

I've found myself going through phases of intense running habit and then an overall sense of sheer laziness.
Today was of the latter.
I tell myself to go, go outside and run Sawna!
But my evil twin decided otherwise.

It is a dilemna I find myself constantly fighting. However, in the midst of Ultra season I seem to have no choice but to continue my training.
WHICH IS GOOD.

The end result being August 2nd. When that start gun goes off and I start a 100 mile run... I want to ensure that I've trained to my best ability.
And if that means meeting up with the Cayotes Thursday mornings despite my... fear. Well, so be it. Just not tomorrow.
One step at a time.

After Octobers dig a hole and hide in it, November really shined a light through the tunnel of darkness.
Everyday really ceased to amaze me. I increased my miles, made an attempt to run in the mountains and not just Griffith Park, I met new friends and accomplished my first Ragnar Trail Race (for another post).
November was, well, a precursor to the amazing experiences, new friendships, technical/fun trails, and fatnastic memories to come.

My goal, should I learn to accept it, is to continue to stay focus. Driven to that end goal.
My 2014 AC100 goal.

Somebody told me on my birthday last June that 25 was their favorite year and what my expectation of it would consist of. My response was simply that my 25 will only set up the amazing year 26 will be. Not saying this year wont be filled with great memories, just implying that I have work ahead of me, a base I want to establish before I can fully take pride in my future endevors.

My 25 will be my building stage, not just in my training but in work. With everything I do I want to put in 110% effort and dedication as well as ensure that no matter what it is- it's of passion.

I'm immensely thankful for what has been achieved so far these past few months, for the people that have stuck by my side no matter what, as well as my family that have always and will always support me no matter how insane they think I have become with my ultra running as well as my "tree bark" eating habits.

My intention with this blog is for it to be updated with every event that I participate in; every practice, every new trail, every old trail, and everything in between.
However, it never turns out that way. I will continue to write, blog, post, and such as much as I possibly can!




SO please, stay tunned!

Can I just point out, for a second(or a few), how amazingly clear and vivid the sunrise/sunset has been. Yesterday was the first sunrise I was not able to catch since I forced myself to sleep in (there wasnt much forcing) but it has been picture perfect everyday. I constantly find myself being thankful that I chose to wake up in the wee hours of the mroning in order to witness the mere minutes of glory!
I hope it continues:)


I eat that for dinner.... just incase you were wondering!


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness

My "Ah ha" Moment with Team in Training

There is a time in your life where you have the Ah Ha! Moment. This “Ah Ha” can easily be found simply by solving a difficult mathematical equation, creating your favorite recipe, locating a destination you've never been to, etc. But the real “ah Ha’” moment I’m describing is far deeper- this Ah Ha moment is when I found my happiness. Now, happiness can be describe in many different ways and can be found in various forms. My happiness was first beginning to mold itself in 2011- the year I joined Team In Training to run the Nike Woman's Full marathon.

To fully depict this tale of my journey, I must begin the year before in 2010 when I believed that "Ha Ha" moment was a myth, when happiness was merely an illusion, when all that surrounded me was faded and the only thing I could barely grasp was the fact that my dad, my father- Papá, was diagnosed with Myelodysplastic Syndrome, MDS, to be exact. A condition where the bone marrow stops producing blood and platelets- in the same realm of Leukemia.

In a world ran by time- hours, minutes, seconds, it all counts. We let time measure our life as though we are entitled to it. Yet we let it slip away from us. Do we stop and realize that a day, a week, years have passed? we go through motions and rarely alter our patterns to actually stop, put down our iPhone, and smell the flowers; to enjoy life to the fullest.
To thank the ones around us for blessing our lives with their presence. To smell the oh so fresh air and not cut people off on the freeway, to drive the speed limit, to take our time and live in the moment. Time is a special gift, something we should cherish.

When my father was diagnosed with cancer- our family made the realization that time, the one thing we always took for granted was being taken away. My fathers time with us to be exact was now very limited.

During 2010, he was not only diagnosed and treated, but now three years later he is scuba diving, sky diving, cycling, traveling with me again and spending time with loved ones. This experience opened our eyes to the importance of time.

We may always complain about not having enough of it, but the essence of it is what makes time an unforgettable gift. A gift we do what with?

Well, that's the meaning of this email.



The time I have, for what I have been blessed with- I want to make it count. Every day- hour, minute, second.
How do I do you ask? Well you probably already know.
I donate platelets, I am on the registry to become a stem cell/bone marrow donor, and I fundraise with Team in Training.

It wasn't until my second season of Team In Training that my "Ah Ha" moment arrived. It was during my 50 mile race, that many of you suported me, which made me realize what truly made me happy.

I finished that race realizing that the journey that I had just taken, was my "Ah Ha" moment. Not only was I training for a farther distance but I was surround by these incredible people who share the same passion as me all whilst fundraising for a cause that is dear to my heart. These fellow members not only had become my team mates but have become my dearest friends that I will have for many years to come.


This year I've signed up for season two of Ultra Team with TNT for Leona Divides 50 mile endurance race, however, I will be completing my training and fundraising as an ASSISTANT COACH. It will be one of many endurance races I plan on completing within the next year. My list so far will consist of but will not be limited to:

Paramount Hills 30K.

The Sean O'Brian (SOB) 50k.

Avalon 50 mile.

Lenona Divide 50 mile

Lake Tahoe Most Beautiful Bike Ride 100 miles

Angeles Crest 100 mile endurance RUN.


I would normally say this is not my pursuit by any means, but, if you know me- it's far from the truth.

As I train for my TRIPLE digit ending result, I will be fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

I ask you to donate to assist in my fundraising goal. You wouldn't just be contributing to my race, but toward making life easier for those who are battling with blood cancers.

I understand this economy may not be booming and cash may not be flowing out of each wallet. With that said, when I say donate; it doesn't necessarily mean of monetary value. I will take what I can get: words of encouragement inspiration, helpful tips, hey- even a high five! Anything to show your support .



To donate:

To donate or express your words, I have been logging my training and activities on my blog http://www.witheverymile.com/

or directly to my donation page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/leonadiv14/sawna


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness :)

To live or to exist... That is the question

It was a rather windy morning.
One that I had every intention of staying in bed for. Alas! I had made the attempt- I scolded myself "Sawna SLEEP IN!".
But my subconscious is a stubborn one that I can not force my wishes upon.
Becuase deep...
Down..
Inside...

I want to get up. I want to be active. I want to enjoy my morning.
I don't want to waste this day.

As I stumbled, feet flopping, baby hairs-a-blowin, watchless, sun beaming, I finally arrive at my destination.
A 2 mile run, rather a journey, up Bronson Canyon to Griffith Park.

Of late- I have done this run as a sprint, a total of 4 miles and normally call it a day. And although I felt more on the lax side- fall season was in the air and the trails were calling my name.

Wind blowing rather fearlessly, I run toward the dirt storm that overtook the small vacant Griffith Park Bronson Canyon entrance. With only eating a small handful of dirt, I begin my quest up the canyon.

Today, I decided, I would not attempt to run but rather hike.
Enjoy the weather, enjoy the view and reflect.

Reflect on your day, your week, your month- choices that were made that put you where you are at that very moment in time.

I walked into, almost quite literally, a older gentleman.
One that frequent the trail and that I recognize only by running past him as he makes his trek up the canyon with his two beautiful golden retrievers.

This time, we converse. We are both taken back by the weather and the insane feeling of fall when never does it quite feel like it in this city.

Somehow, someway- the discussion of living life to the fullest is our topic.

His question being- do you consider yourself living rather than existing.
It's a question I find myself asking more often now than before. I see how time permits a being to have the option of living or existing and I wonder if I fall on the ladder side.

We discuss actions we take or not take, journeys we permit ourselves to make, and decisions we have yet to encounter. It became a deep conversation so fast at almost seven in the morning. My argument, for myself is although at certain points in my life I have witnessed time passing without notice and myself merely existing without fail. However, I believe since my dad's diagnosis I have made an effort to alter that habit.

To choose to live.
To choose to make every day count.

I am aware I talk about this often, however, I think that day I chose to live was the day I signed up with Team in Training. Doing that showed me there is happiness out there I knew not of.
Happiness that I would plant and watch grow over the years.
Happiness that would change the days to come.
Happiness that made me want to LIVE.

My happiness has only grown. I look at others and at times I can not comprehend how they can miss this opportunity. However, happiness is found in different places for others.

This, I know, is where I can live.

I have grown, I have evolved into the person I am today because of this collection of cancer killers. This group I call my dear friends.
This time last year I signed up for my first Ultra season. To run 50 kilometers turned into running 50 miles and you know what! I LOVED IT!

I signed up for my second year, and not only that but my first 100 mile endurance run.
And that's what I call living.

I look forward to this season of Ultra team because it will be the best yet! "Coach Sawna" sounds nice and I'll do my best as one of the assistant Coaches to ensure that every member receives the same experience if not better than what I had encountered this past year.

As for the rest of the year, OH you watch out- I plan on living it to the fullest! Training for AC100, as well as the 50 milers, 50ks as well as century rides beforehand.
I look forward to the lessons I will learn, the experiences I will partake in, the memories I will one day cherish.


Call me crazy, but I call it living.
Pure.
Happiness.
Is what I find out there in those mountains.

Seek and you shall find.

That, dear frequent Griffith Park Bronson Canyon Trail hiker, is my answer.

My question to you...
What makes you want to live, what makes you happy?


Till next time,
Peace, love and HAPPINESS























Learning how to not fall off a bike.

I learned how to ride a bike, I believe, like most kids do.
I don't recollect riding with training wheels, but really- that was a long time ago.
What I do remember is learning how to brake on my big girl two wheeled bike.
My dad would stand on the sidewalk a mere few feet away from me and I would crash into him each and every time.
Well, I guess not every time since I did eventually learn how to properly ride a bike- so I thought.

Fast forward to now.
My face is on the ground, the cement to be exact.
I don't remember how my face arrived here, it is a familiar place I have visited before however the events leading up to it I could not recall.
My head hurts, and yet I'm wearing a helmet.
I turn my face to the right and I see Bob running toward me with his bike in hand.

MY BIKE!
MY BIKE!
MY BIKE!

It's all that is swimming in my head. Is it ok? Did it get hurt? Do I need to get it fixed?
All questions I should be asking myself yet my bikes health is all I care for.

"Take it easy" I hear from voices I do not recognize.
I turn on my back and realize two unknown cyclist where at my side helping me up.

My hip.
I see my shirt had risen up and there is a gash across my hip bone.
My elbow.
Two strips of red raw skin were across my forearm.
My knee.
Its red, not bleeding but raw as well.

I look over to Bob. My new cycling friend I had met a mere three days prior to this accident.

He hands me his water bottle
"For the blood on your face" is all he said. But it was his facial expression that made me think... I really screwed myself up this time. I had never scratched up my face before.



(^^^this was only part of it )

I feel ok. I tell myself.
It's going to be ok- I reiterate.

Bob is talking. But the only thing I catch is something about going back and "did you want to continue?".
my response...
"Heck yeah... lets keep going!".


Was it the safe choice?
I don't know
Was it the sane choice?
I doubt it.

Eating cement three miles into your ride isn't the ideal way to end a training ride.
So... I kept going.

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

The choice I made, in my mind, was the right one.
Accidents happen, its a fact. You do your best to prevent them yet they occur when you least expect it. It is how you respond, how you react that will further your training or regress it.

When running in the mountains, there are uncertainties that can put you in peril. You may step on a rock incorrectly or slip on the extremely narrow path of sand, you may be have rolled your ankle or cut up your knee.
But rarely do you stop.
You have trained yourself to walk things off and to keep going.

When I was continuing with my bike ride I thought of how much I wanted to go home.
I thought of how much I wanted to complain.
I thought about how much I wanted to just not.
Not cycle.
Not run.
Not swim.
Not exercise.
Not get hurt.
Not put myself in danger.

Then we stopped.

We were at mile 21.
"Should we head back?" Bob asks.
"Or we can do an intense four mile climb past Westridge- up Madeville Canyon".
50 miles altogether? Didn't really expect to go that long.

My not wanting to continue, my not wanting to exercise, my not wanting to put myself in danger- just flew out the window.

"It's up to you" he continues.

I cleared my head of all the negativity. It just isn't me.

And we continued.
He wasn't joking. Intense incline.
And I held onto my handle bars for dear life.


The best part of running in the mountains, cycling on the road- is the risk involved.
Overcoming those obstacles and gaining strength and experience each time is what makes me coming back for more.


It's training for life.




PostScript: It's been a few months, I know. I have been up to things, I promise. I have lacked the patience to sit and write my experiences but ALAS! I do have things to say but that's for another time!


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness







Lake Tahoe 100 miles

Pain.
It's all I know.
It's what I'm focusing on.

Consistant.
Throbbing.
Stinging.
Sharp.

Pain.

Gears need to be changed.
My fingers can not function without perhaps breaking off.

Frozen are my fingers.
A numbing sensation of pure pain keeps me moving forward.

“Pedal faster!”
“Push harder!” is my current mantra.

A mere 5 miles into Lakes Tahoes “The Most Beautiful Bike Ride”.
95 more miles.


“You can do this!” I tell myself.
Shooting pain draws me back to reality.
The scenery is absolutely breath taking yet all I can think of are my fingers.

Just two days before, the bike I currently sat upon, was smashed between two cars in a collision on the freeway. Thankfully nobody was hurt, the damage, however, was shown on both the bikes that were strapped to my fathers bike rack.

Its quite astonishing how fast one can fix a completely unrideable bike, with the right parts and the right hands- it took a quarter of an hour and both were ready to go.
Nothing was stopping me from completely my first century ride.

15 miles in... I am starting to switch gears with more ease- I CAN FEEL MY FINGERS.

After the first switchbacks which were pretty intense but not long.
I pedal, I push, I move upwards and onwards.

At least until I'm pedaling in place- not going anywhere.
My chain has fallen off the bracket. Yippe.

Its greasy, it's dirty, its just not wanted to go back on.
After several purple people show concern and ask if I need assistance- I'm off again.

A consistent clicking noise pertrudes from the bracket with each foot turn.
And again, I'm moving in place.
My chain is not my friend today.

Thankfully its downhill till the first aid station.
This might be one of the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen.
At least top 5.
Coasting and enjoying the view was what I needed to get into the right mindset.
Beauty surrounded me, and I'm here to enjoy every last second.

Rolling into the first rest stop, I am surrounded by purple people from all over the country.
Groups scattered around, toys representing their city, and a big TNT jersey that screams ultra BAMFS. My people.
Whilst getting my chain fixed, the volunteer notified me that part of the bracket had been completely twisted another direction and was the cause of my malfunctions.
Approximately half an hour later and a re adjusted bike, I'm off.

Don't stop- keep going.


The rest of the 85 miles was eventful to say the least. My chain malfunctioned another four times but my spirits were high. The amount of purple people offering their aid to not only me but others that were in need of assistance, purple TNTer or not. The overwhelming amount of support from every participant made this bike ride not only beautiful but extremely enjoyable.


I know what your thinking.
100 miles, fun?
Well, yeah! It's the challenge that makes it fun. With the right amount of training and incorporating healthy habits into your daily lifestyle, the ride is- yes still difficult, but the fun part is meeting that challenge. Accomplishing something a mere 10% of the population has yet to meet.



This was fun.
Not just the ride but the overall experience...
(Discluding the first two hours of our trip)
But being able to spend time with my dad. Yes, he lives a mere 22 miles away from me, but a visit every two weeks does not suffice.
THis was a constant Dad and me time. He may have not ridden the 100 miles with me like we planned- but he was there the whole time- cheering me on.


I also enjoyed spending time with my uncle. He could possibly be my ultimate favorite uncle on my moms side ;)
Unfortunately we could go years without seeing eachother but when I do get to spend time with him, it's as though years have never passed. I was overwhelmed with happiness to be able to share this experience with him.
He too is fundraising and training with TNT!
HEY! What can I say? It runs in the family!


Overall.

The name says it all. "The most beautiful bike ride"
That's what it was, that's how I felt it to be.
I look forward to my next centurie ride- and hope that it'll be with my dad and uncle!



Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness


**Postscript**
I may have completed this race on my own, however, I would have never gotten there without the love and support of my father. Without him- my love for the sport would not be the same. <3

2013 Leona Divide 50 mile race in my words

She looks at the clock.
2:30 am.
The pain she's feeling- couldn't even begin to describe.
I can not seek appropriate words to portray her last 3 hours.
Between the bathroom and aimlessly wandering, hunched over as if normally positioned as so.
I see her, pouring yet another glass of water, she calls her dad.

I hear and see myself as if a third person. She can't do it, she says. Make the pain go away, she repeats.
72 hours before her very first ultra marathon- she doesn't think she can do it.
I look at this girl, curled on the bathroom floor in the fettle position, I am overwhelmed with sorrow for her pain.
She looks at her watch, 4:02 in the morning.

She falls asleep by the toilet, covered with her sweater, towel as a pillow, brita container and water glass by her feet.
She feels better.

She thinks- if she can survive food poisoning twice during her ultra training season, she can survive anything.




I stand at the starting line and think of all the obstacles it took to get here.
Sore muscles, aches and pains, missing those parties, dedicating endless hours to training, shin splints and ofcourse food poisoning TWICE.

I stand at the starting line, overwhelmed with- no not butterflies, but love and gratitude.
Five months ago, little did I know an Ultra was in my future.
No, but here I am.




Its 6:00 AM.
Race starts.

I feel strong, I feel light, I feel fast.
I stay consistent, don't go out too fast- I remind myself.

Aid station three, mile 16.2- I was feeling great.
Physically, absolutely no complaints.
Mentally, I was positive and preparing myself for the steep two mile incline.

Just a month and a half before this exact spot had brought me sheer pain, and nightmares everyday since then.
Nightmares- until today.

Thankfully I was hiking up this hill with a fellow Ultra marathon runner, we were not running but we were not walking. We were consistent and we were fast all while hydrating.

We kept a consistent conversation, why we were there, what races we have previously did, what line of work we were in and WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM
we were at the fourth aid station.

That was it?

There was a nagging pain in the hip flexor that was not going away. It hurt.
But then again, nothing hurt more than having food poisoning.
I kept going.

The next aid station came and gone- my hip flexor hurt more, it hurt to walk and it hurt to run but then I kept going.

Mile 30.
Turn around point- time to head back to the finish line.
Mentally- I'm great, more positive than I have ever been during any practice run or race I've participated in.
Physically- I could barely walk.

My hip. OHHHH my hip.
I see Coach Arkady and he helps me ice.
I stick ice down my shorts- hold it on my hip and I get up and hike the three miles up the mountain.

I have to keep going.



Mile 37.
If I could possibly rip my hip off- I would.
I've never had hip pain- why start now.

I keep running. Attempt to run.
That's when I ran into Lulu. Trying to stay positive we both chat about the 106 degree heat.
I hadn't noticed.

I tell her about my hip pain- she gives me two advils and we part ways.

I jog, thinking it hurts less to run than to walk.
I contemplate my game plan- how will this steep downhill effect my hip and knee pain?
Wait, what pain?
I'm running, and when I say running- I mean I'm speeding down this mountain.
Hip and knee pain NO MORE.

Hallelujah Advil.



Mile 43 aid station- Boy I never thought I'd see you so quickly!

After a few potatoes, some dunks in the ice buckets and two more advils- I was off.

Hiked up the first two miles, sharing a gluten free vegan bread recipe with 50k participant Jackie and with five miles left- I sprinted.
I stopped mid way to assist an older man who was suffering from the heat. Emptied my pack of ice and cold water and helped him cool down. 15 minutes later- I was sprinting.
Sprinted ALL THE WAY BACK.

50 miles.



After 11 hours and 4 minutes I had completed my mission...
My first Ultra marathon.



I remember every second of that race.
And every second- especially of the last 10 miles, I thought- when can I sign up again?

A week has passed since this experience and I feel the same way.
I couldn't wait to do another endurance event (Completed a 50 mile bike race in Mexico 6 days after crossing that finish line).





Although I had hip pain, food poisoning so fresh in my memory- anything was possible.
Finishing Leona Divide a mere 4 minutes after Western States qualifications- I think I did fairly well.

But I want to do better, and I know I can.

With Team in Training I was able to endure something I never knew possible!
With my dedication and hard work I know I can do it again.

Soon.

Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness.



The Ginger Runner was able to capture the race on his own. I remember running alongside him quite a few times.
Great video!